The missing one...

Maybe I'm not being very smart here. Honestly, I'm coming to a conclusion that something is missing based on a skimming of my list of commandments - by no means a real search for what I was looking for.

Anyways, here's some background for you, dear reader. My wonderful roommate and I are TV watchers. Right now we're rewatching a series that we both loved as teenagers, Everwood. It's a total teenager show and probably not quite of the quality of some of the shows that I'd very happily tell you that we watch, but still. One of our old favourites. Anyways, the kids are in college now and Amy, one of the main characters, has this amazing Women's Studies professor who is her mentor. And I am so very jealous. I actually had the exact same professor, but I took the class too late. Joe was my WMST 201 professor in my very last semester at school. My Lori wasn't my mentor by any means, but she opened my eyes to so many things that I had no idea existed. And those ideas stuck. I wasn't much of a feminist, not an environmentalist at all and I had no interest in anything but getting out of school, making a pile of money and doing all the other "American Dream"-y stuff. But Joe (and another amazing professor that I got so much from) changed my life so that I didn't want any of that stuff. Or at least not as "the" official goal, you know? And so I had all these ideas and new thoughts and causes and interests and all that stuff. Anyways, we're just watching and I am so jealous of Amy. She has all the chances to make something of those ideas, like so many of us choose not to once we leave.

Now, not that working for an environmental non-profit is necessarily so off base, but it just doesn't feel right right now. I feel like I've missed the point a little, got caught a bit in the regular stuff. I guess living to work more than working to live. I just don't feel like I'm making any sort of difference. And I'm not posting this online so that people will comment and say "oh yes you are so making a difference", that's not what I'm after. I was hoping to find something in those 613 commandments that makes me figure out how to fix this. And not that I'm so hard done by, I realize that having a roof over my head, a job to go to, food in my refrigerator and the damn luxury to sit around and wonder how self-actualized I am or am not makes me a very lucky person. I guess that I've thought that after I get home from work I can have a whole second life where I do the things I want to. I write and I help repair the world or my little part of it. But I've gotten stuck in other things like laundry and sitting around and watching TV and doing stuff that is selfish and regular. My suburban bubble keeps me safe and warm and feeling content, which is fine and I'm not sure I would change it, but it's just a restless feeling, especially when I see people doing what I want to be doing. But I don't even know what that is.

So I don't know. The other piece of background is that my Christian phase left me with the idea that the bible has the answers; it's your instruction booklet to life. And I don't believe that at this point in my life, but I guess that I thought that one of those 613 guidelines could give me some ancient inspiration about what to do with myself, with my time, with my life. And I was a little disappointed that I didn't find it. And like I said, I didn't look that hard. I guess that being a Gen Y-er and wanting to have everything the second I look for it is a little naive and self-indulgent, but I've been thinking the last couple of days that writing a post where I can unpack what that nugget of wisdom says and how it applies to my life. But I couldn't find it. And so I guess I'll have to find the answer for myself.

All that said, though, here's where I can maybe bring it back to this poorly updated blog. I guess that one of the biggest things (of the very, very few) that I know of Judaism is the whole tikkun olam idea. Or at least it's the one that I cling to as it's something that I can semi-understand and that I feel like I identify with a little bit. And the idea that I could have the capacity to repair the world makes me think that maybe I can figure it out for myself.

Maybe the answer is to just do it. But I just want to do lots of things, I think. Too many things.

Sorry folks. This post is probably more boring to read than it is frustrating to write. Just thought I'd share my frustration. I just feel like I can't finish anything and I don't have the motivation to try. Sorry to be that girl right now.

Doorposts...

Type of Commandment: Signs and Symbols- it's # 21 on the list

Commandment: To affix the mezuzah to the doorposts and gates of your house

Where does it come from: Deuteronomy 6:9 - my Confirmation study Bible lists it this way: "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts" (it's a New International Version). OK, so let's backtrack, shall we? That's not super helpful...

When we go backward a little bit, it looks like it's referring to the Shema, which according to the handy dandy notes in my Bible is "Hebrew for 'Hear.' It has become the Jewish confession of faith, recited daily by the pious"... technically speaking, "the pious" recite it twice daily - as well as apparently (according to Wikipedia) one's last words and something that should be said by kids before they go to bed. Thanks for lumping those two thoughts together, Wikipedia. Gosh.

Anyways, the Shema (as cited here) is: "Hear, Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One"

The interesting part (maybe just for me) is that it's directly followed in my study Bible by this verse: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength"

You may be asking "why is that interesting?" - a good question. Back in the day when I was a Christian, there was this song that we sang at Bible camp and all that fun stuff and it went "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your might and love all of mankind as you would love yourself" and then it continues to some evangelical-ly stuff that I won't rewrite here because it isn't entirely relevant if you ask me (and I totally get to decide given that I'm the one writing this here blog ;))

I just find it kind of interesting. The thing that Judaism has taught me so far (even I have said the Shema once or twice - usually at Synagogue on Yom Kippur. Scratch that, always at Synagogue on Yom Kippur) is about stressing who God is and something that I picked up from Christianity is to love God with all that I had. Granted, Christianity got me with a catchy tune, which is actually something I'm not crazy about Christianity for personally. Why? (I could hear you asking!) I can remember many, many times that someone would be speaking at whatever kind of thing it was and soft, emotional music would play in the background. I get that I should give this practice a bit of a break, but I always found it... manipulative, I guess. So there. I said it.

How might you follow this?: Modern Jews put a mezuzah on their doors - mezuzahs containing blessed scrolls inside them that have the Shema on them. I absolutely adore walking around in obviously Jewish apartment buildings where there are beautiful, different mezuzahs on most, if not every door frame.

Why might this have been commanded in the first place?: I would guess to keep it on people's minds who God is and why it's important to keep paying attention to this and other religious commandments. I like watching (typically) more traditional Jews walking into a place with a mezuzah - they kiss their hand and touch the mezuzah. And I just like watching it. I think it's kind of a cool thing to do.

What are some benefits to following this today?: I suppose it couldn't hurt to remember who God is. Although, if you lean towards the Athiest way - that obviously wouldn't apply. So in that case, I think it's a cool way to culturally stand and be counted. It's like Atheist leaning Christians with crosses in their homes or even an heirloom bible. I think it could be a sweet tradition to follow.

I bought a mezuzah in Tzfat (Israel) and was pretty happy about it. Or was it in Jerusalem... dang I can't remember. Either way I bought it in Israel and I'm happy to have it. I don't have it on my door - at least not yet - but I feel like I have no business putting it up. Plus I don't have the scroll yet and I definitely don't feel comfortable putting it on my doorway without the prayer in it. Which is probably silly because I'm not religious. In any case, that's the whole point, isn't it?

I also bought a mezuzah necklace (this time definitely in Tzfat) and love wearing it. It has the blessed prayer inside it and is a little cylinder on a chain. I absolutely love it - it's kind of cool to keep it close to my heart (well, relatively anyways). I kind of like participating in something that my dad did, his parents did, that their parents did way back in Europe and all the way back.

What are some drawbacks to following this today?: Honestly I'm not sure there are many drawbacks, if any. I know that some people don't want to wear their faith or their cultural background on their door, advertising it to anyone who comes over to their house. It's a cool option to have though. I'd like to put mine up one day. It's a beautiful little piece of art and I quite like having it, even though I haven't used it accurately yet.

How about you? Do you have a mezuzah? Why or why not?

Notes on Running a Planet

So this is not mitzvah related. Sorry for my terrible neglect, dear readers. 

Anyways, in the fall when I was watching a movie in the planetarium at the American Museum of Natural History, I felt a bit inspired to write this and I kind of percolated on it until March and then I just put it to "paper". I don't have a matching commandment or anything, but I was just reading over it today and I wanted to share. 

It might be kind of silly or touchy-feely or... well, I don't know what. But - like I said - I just wanted to share it!

So here's the deal. The movie was kind of zooming way, way out on earth and it talked about stars and galaxies and all that cool, mind blowing stuff and I was sort of distracted by a thought that was something like "what if there were other planets with life on them out there" and "what lessons could humans of earth share with those people". Anyways, here it is. Please feel free to comment or suggest edits or tell me I'm ridiculous. All comments are much appreciated. 

...

It will not be easy. This I guarantee. But you will learn the most amazing things; see characteristics in the things and people around you that will make you wonder if it's even real.

But I promise you, you will forget where you came from and what sustains you. And when you do that you will be so blinded by your perceived mastery you will not even notice that the rules to the game have been changed around you. And the funny thing is: you did that. You changed the rules, maybe by accident. But you made choices without even considering what might come of them. And we made those decisions too. Decisions that you wouldn't think to make when you're walking outside or shuffling around in the mountains on a chilly day. Ones that wouldn't cross your mind lying in the desert watching the stars.

No; it is at those moments that I hope you are out there making a better go of this than we have. When I hope that the wonderful things that we have done here are just the beginning for you. That art and music, friendship and genuine care have made it to you but the greed and selfishness did not follow.

So,

Be kind to one another. Be compassionate and loving to those who cannot speak for themselves. Respect the planet and all her wonder, she is the only one you have. Spend time under the clouds and under the stars. Swim. Laugh. Dance. Find others that you love and show them. Spend time with them, you don’t have that much after all; friends or time, that is. Remember that though life seems impossibly long and complicated, I don’t think it truly is. Just work with what you have and dream of what you don’t have yet.

I have hope that this can be done but I am losing hope that we can do it. And so I wish for you to learn from our mistakes. Take them to heart and have a better go of it.

Someone ought to.

...

Thanks for indulging me! :)

If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

Type of Commandment: Love and Brotherhood - it's # 28 on the list

Commandment: Not to wrong any one in speech

Where does it come from: Leviticus 25:17 - an online New International Version quotes this as "Do not take advantage of each other, but fear your God. I am the Lord your God" - which I realize makes you say "um, are you new at looking up bible verses?!?!?!" - yep, this one made me do a little research too. My oh-so-official list of commandments leads me to check out the section on "Speech and Lashon Ha-Ra" (I have a sort of funny and informative story about this, but will have to include that below)... which instructs me that the tradition tells us that we are not to wrong one another with our speech.

How might you follow this?: OK, so I guess here's where my funny story works in - my dad and I were at something (probably the film fest) at the Conservative synagogue in Calgary and there's a poster with some rules (or guidelines or however you'd prefer to word that) and one of them has a picture of a person with their finger in front of their mouth (like to say "SHHHH!!!") and says lashon hara with one of those little red circles with a line through it (like a no smoking sign!) - anyways I didn't have the slightest clue what we were meant to do, other than keep quiet (as my grandmother would have said) while stuff was going on. Dad and I were back at the synagogue with my uncle, and we asked him if he knew what it meant (I think I forgot to mention that my dad's Hebrew isn't very conversationally great - he can read it and he knows how to pronounce stuff but doesn't necessarily know what it means). So when we asked, my uncle said that it meant not to gossip.

So, all that said - it seems to me that you don't gossip, which is on the surface a pretty simple task. Of course, we humans know that it's a little tougher because gossip is usually so juicy.

I guess this is an appropriate time for me to think through my life and gossip. I have to admit, I love to gossip. It's not something I'm proud of, it's just who I am. I just love delivering those juicy, delicious pieces of gossip to my friends and certainly to my family. BUT, I do realize that gossip can hurt and so I try to keep stuff under wraps if and when I can. Those around me, especially those closest to me, probably know that I'm not great at this though.

Interestingly, I've been thinking about this blog since Marlon, my dear and talented friend from my Birthright trip, kindly tweeted at me to blog again (I was actually so touched to have a request, so thanks again Marlon). What I've been considering is the order in which I present these mitzvot. It will obviously be much more meaningful (and make more sense, since I kind of see these mitzvot as an attempt at an instruction manual for life) to find the mitzvot that I can apply to my life currently. And I think this one really fits, not just because I have that thing that I want to share, but also because at work we've been working on a really cool communication plan.

Two of my coworkers took part in a workshop about Sacred Commerce (based on this book, written by the owners of Cafe Gratitude in California), which I would explain a bit but I don't really understand enough about it. Essentially, it's a bunch of practices to improve communication in the workplace so that you're treating work in a more uplifted fashion - like acknowledging coworkers for being who they are (not things they do - like you might acknowledge that a coworker is very intelligent or brave or generous or something). It's really a group of uncomfortable practices, but the ones we've been introduced and tried out at work so far actually seem pretty awesome and emotionally mature, which is something I need to work on.

Based on some Sacred Commerce practices, we all had a potluck and a conversation about how we would like to communicate in our office - what kinds of guidelines do we think we can adopt so that we communicate in a better, healthier way amongst ourselves? I can't remember all the stuff we discussed and came up with, but one example is that we will bring issues up to people immediately and try and work through them instead of just holding them in and letting them stew until they become a big problem. So yeah, that's pretty uncomfortable, but it's a good idea. And the reason this long, drawn out conversation is related to this post is that these practices can help alleviate the desire to gossip. Or at least that's the idea.

Why might this have been commanded in the first place?: Because gossip can really hurt people. When stuff's going on behind your back, it's no fun. I think we all have experienced that before.

What are some benefits to following this today?: We need to treat one another better in general, and this no gossip rule is a really good way to start practicing that. We treat each other so poorly, at least in a lot of ways. This is such a simple solution, even though it isn't easy (yes, simple but not easy... is that OK?)

What are some drawbacks to following this today?: Yeah, it's not easy. How fun is it to gossip? Maybe next time we can all give talking to the person we want to gossip about instead of spreading things around about them that may not be true.

The Ultra-Orthodox, en masse

This doesn't go along with this project exactly, but I stumbled across this article in The Atlantic and just wanted to share a few quick thoughts about it.

Basically, over 50,000 ultra Orthodox men (no women allowed) gathered in Citi Field in New York to hear rabbis speak about the evils of the internet.

Firstly, it seemed to be quite a sight to behold, that's for sure. Check out this unreal photo, from this article.


Hard to believe, I think. It makes for a really cool photo. The same article also has some footage of the stadium, which is something to see.

Anyways, the actual thoughts I had about the article are a little different than just a description of what the article was about. It's a good read, by the way, I definitely would recommend it. In the interview part (the interview was with the organizer of the event) of the article,  it says that the actual motto of the event was "Using Technology in accordance with Jewish values". I find that a little strange, but maybe only because I feel like it would be difficult to decide what the practicalities of it would be.

Let's firstly notice that only men are involved in this conversation. I realize that in Orthodox communities, men and women are kept separate ("but equal"), but just thought it'd be worth a mention.

I feel like, when I started to write this post, I had a lot more to say - now it's been a little while and I have forgotten my main points. In any case, the thing that I was thinking about myself is that they suggested taking an "internet shabbat". Or maybe that was just a thought I had when I was reading it - not really important where it came from.

In any case, there's some thought here about how having constant contact and stuff with smartphones and all that has changed the way we think and/or interact with one another. I'm sort of interested in maybe trying out an internet shabbat one of these weekends. I'd turn off my phone maybe and all that stuff and just read and spend time with others and do all that good stuff.

I do not keep shabbat, but I've been thinking about it a bit recently. It doesn't even have to be religious, I was actually thinking about inviting my friends to celebrate "do nothing day" with me. Where we sit around and eat and drink and play games and chat and giggle and all that good stuff. So there's something I'm thinking about.

I kind of think that that is the whole value to this crazy project. Look at the super old religious rules and stuff, and then apply it to my life the way I think it works best.