Maybe I'm not being very smart here. Honestly, I'm coming to a conclusion that something is missing based on a skimming of my list of commandments - by no means a real search for what I was looking for.
Anyways, here's some background for you, dear reader. My wonderful roommate and I are TV watchers. Right now we're rewatching a series that we both loved as teenagers, Everwood. It's a total teenager show and probably not quite of the quality of some of the shows that I'd very happily tell you that we watch, but still. One of our old favourites. Anyways, the kids are in college now and Amy, one of the main characters, has this amazing Women's Studies professor who is her mentor. And I am so very jealous. I actually had the exact same professor, but I took the class too late. Joe was my WMST 201 professor in my very last semester at school. My Lori wasn't my mentor by any means, but she opened my eyes to so many things that I had no idea existed. And those ideas stuck. I wasn't much of a feminist, not an environmentalist at all and I had no interest in anything but getting out of school, making a pile of money and doing all the other "American Dream"-y stuff. But Joe (and another amazing professor that I got so much from) changed my life so that I didn't want any of that stuff. Or at least not as "the" official goal, you know? And so I had all these ideas and new thoughts and causes and interests and all that stuff. Anyways, we're just watching and I am so jealous of Amy. She has all the chances to make something of those ideas, like so many of us choose not to once we leave.
Now, not that working for an environmental non-profit is necessarily so off base, but it just doesn't feel right right now. I feel like I've missed the point a little, got caught a bit in the regular stuff. I guess living to work more than working to live. I just don't feel like I'm making any sort of difference. And I'm not posting this online so that people will comment and say "oh yes you are so making a difference", that's not what I'm after. I was hoping to find something in those 613 commandments that makes me figure out how to fix this. And not that I'm so hard done by, I realize that having a roof over my head, a job to go to, food in my refrigerator and the damn luxury to sit around and wonder how self-actualized I am or am not makes me a very lucky person. I guess that I've thought that after I get home from work I can have a whole second life where I do the things I want to. I write and I help repair the world or my little part of it. But I've gotten stuck in other things like laundry and sitting around and watching TV and doing stuff that is selfish and regular. My suburban bubble keeps me safe and warm and feeling content, which is fine and I'm not sure I would change it, but it's just a restless feeling, especially when I see people doing what I want to be doing. But I don't even know what that is.
So I don't know. The other piece of background is that my Christian phase left me with the idea that the bible has the answers; it's your instruction booklet to life. And I don't believe that at this point in my life, but I guess that I thought that one of those 613 guidelines could give me some ancient inspiration about what to do with myself, with my time, with my life. And I was a little disappointed that I didn't find it. And like I said, I didn't look that hard. I guess that being a Gen Y-er and wanting to have everything the second I look for it is a little naive and self-indulgent, but I've been thinking the last couple of days that writing a post where I can unpack what that nugget of wisdom says and how it applies to my life. But I couldn't find it. And so I guess I'll have to find the answer for myself.
All that said, though, here's where I can maybe bring it back to this poorly updated blog. I guess that one of the biggest things (of the very, very few) that I know of Judaism is the whole tikkun olam idea. Or at least it's the one that I cling to as it's something that I can semi-understand and that I feel like I identify with a little bit. And the idea that I could have the capacity to repair the world makes me think that maybe I can figure it out for myself.
Maybe the answer is to just do it. But I just want to do lots of things, I think. Too many things.
Sorry folks. This post is probably more boring to read than it is frustrating to write. Just thought I'd share my frustration. I just feel like I can't finish anything and I don't have the motivation to try. Sorry to be that girl right now.
Sunday 5 January 2014
Wednesday 1 January 2014
Doorposts...
Type of Commandment: Signs and Symbols- it's # 21 on the list
Commandment: To affix the mezuzah to the doorposts and gates of your house
Where does it come from: Deuteronomy 6:9 - my Confirmation study Bible lists it this way: "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts" (it's a New International Version). OK, so let's backtrack, shall we? That's not super helpful...
When we go backward a little bit, it looks like it's referring to the Shema, which according to the handy dandy notes in my Bible is "Hebrew for 'Hear.' It has become the Jewish confession of faith, recited daily by the pious"... technically speaking, "the pious" recite it twice daily - as well as apparently (according to Wikipedia) one's last words and something that should be said by kids before they go to bed. Thanks for lumping those two thoughts together, Wikipedia. Gosh.
Anyways, the Shema (as cited here) is: "Hear, Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One"
The interesting part (maybe just for me) is that it's directly followed in my study Bible by this verse: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength"
You may be asking "why is that interesting?" - a good question. Back in the day when I was a Christian, there was this song that we sang at Bible camp and all that fun stuff and it went "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your might and love all of mankind as you would love yourself" and then it continues to some evangelical-ly stuff that I won't rewrite here because it isn't entirely relevant if you ask me (and I totally get to decide given that I'm the one writing this here blog ;))
I just find it kind of interesting. The thing that Judaism has taught me so far (even I have said the Shema once or twice - usually at Synagogue on Yom Kippur. Scratch that, always at Synagogue on Yom Kippur) is about stressing who God is and something that I picked up from Christianity is to love God with all that I had. Granted, Christianity got me with a catchy tune, which is actually something I'm not crazy about Christianity for personally. Why? (I could hear you asking!) I can remember many, many times that someone would be speaking at whatever kind of thing it was and soft, emotional music would play in the background. I get that I should give this practice a bit of a break, but I always found it... manipulative, I guess. So there. I said it.
How might you follow this?: Modern Jews put a mezuzah on their doors - mezuzahs containing blessed scrolls inside them that have the Shema on them. I absolutely adore walking around in obviously Jewish apartment buildings where there are beautiful, different mezuzahs on most, if not every door frame.
Why might this have been commanded in the first place?: I would guess to keep it on people's minds who God is and why it's important to keep paying attention to this and other religious commandments. I like watching (typically) more traditional Jews walking into a place with a mezuzah - they kiss their hand and touch the mezuzah. And I just like watching it. I think it's kind of a cool thing to do.
What are some benefits to following this today?: I suppose it couldn't hurt to remember who God is. Although, if you lean towards the Athiest way - that obviously wouldn't apply. So in that case, I think it's a cool way to culturally stand and be counted. It's like Atheist leaning Christians with crosses in their homes or even an heirloom bible. I think it could be a sweet tradition to follow.
I bought a mezuzah in Tzfat (Israel) and was pretty happy about it. Or was it in Jerusalem... dang I can't remember. Either way I bought it in Israel and I'm happy to have it. I don't have it on my door - at least not yet - but I feel like I have no business putting it up. Plus I don't have the scroll yet and I definitely don't feel comfortable putting it on my doorway without the prayer in it. Which is probably silly because I'm not religious. In any case, that's the whole point, isn't it?
I also bought a mezuzah necklace (this time definitely in Tzfat) and love wearing it. It has the blessed prayer inside it and is a little cylinder on a chain. I absolutely love it - it's kind of cool to keep it close to my heart (well, relatively anyways). I kind of like participating in something that my dad did, his parents did, that their parents did way back in Europe and all the way back.
What are some drawbacks to following this today?: Honestly I'm not sure there are many drawbacks, if any. I know that some people don't want to wear their faith or their cultural background on their door, advertising it to anyone who comes over to their house. It's a cool option to have though. I'd like to put mine up one day. It's a beautiful little piece of art and I quite like having it, even though I haven't used it accurately yet.
How about you? Do you have a mezuzah? Why or why not?
Commandment: To affix the mezuzah to the doorposts and gates of your house
Where does it come from: Deuteronomy 6:9 - my Confirmation study Bible lists it this way: "These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts" (it's a New International Version). OK, so let's backtrack, shall we? That's not super helpful...
When we go backward a little bit, it looks like it's referring to the Shema, which according to the handy dandy notes in my Bible is "Hebrew for 'Hear.' It has become the Jewish confession of faith, recited daily by the pious"... technically speaking, "the pious" recite it twice daily - as well as apparently (according to Wikipedia) one's last words and something that should be said by kids before they go to bed. Thanks for lumping those two thoughts together, Wikipedia. Gosh.
Anyways, the Shema (as cited here) is: "Hear, Israel, the Lord is our God, the Lord is One"
The interesting part (maybe just for me) is that it's directly followed in my study Bible by this verse: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength"
You may be asking "why is that interesting?" - a good question. Back in the day when I was a Christian, there was this song that we sang at Bible camp and all that fun stuff and it went "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and all your might and love all of mankind as you would love yourself" and then it continues to some evangelical-ly stuff that I won't rewrite here because it isn't entirely relevant if you ask me (and I totally get to decide given that I'm the one writing this here blog ;))
I just find it kind of interesting. The thing that Judaism has taught me so far (even I have said the Shema once or twice - usually at Synagogue on Yom Kippur. Scratch that, always at Synagogue on Yom Kippur) is about stressing who God is and something that I picked up from Christianity is to love God with all that I had. Granted, Christianity got me with a catchy tune, which is actually something I'm not crazy about Christianity for personally. Why? (I could hear you asking!) I can remember many, many times that someone would be speaking at whatever kind of thing it was and soft, emotional music would play in the background. I get that I should give this practice a bit of a break, but I always found it... manipulative, I guess. So there. I said it.
How might you follow this?: Modern Jews put a mezuzah on their doors - mezuzahs containing blessed scrolls inside them that have the Shema on them. I absolutely adore walking around in obviously Jewish apartment buildings where there are beautiful, different mezuzahs on most, if not every door frame.
Why might this have been commanded in the first place?: I would guess to keep it on people's minds who God is and why it's important to keep paying attention to this and other religious commandments. I like watching (typically) more traditional Jews walking into a place with a mezuzah - they kiss their hand and touch the mezuzah. And I just like watching it. I think it's kind of a cool thing to do.
What are some benefits to following this today?: I suppose it couldn't hurt to remember who God is. Although, if you lean towards the Athiest way - that obviously wouldn't apply. So in that case, I think it's a cool way to culturally stand and be counted. It's like Atheist leaning Christians with crosses in their homes or even an heirloom bible. I think it could be a sweet tradition to follow.
I bought a mezuzah in Tzfat (Israel) and was pretty happy about it. Or was it in Jerusalem... dang I can't remember. Either way I bought it in Israel and I'm happy to have it. I don't have it on my door - at least not yet - but I feel like I have no business putting it up. Plus I don't have the scroll yet and I definitely don't feel comfortable putting it on my doorway without the prayer in it. Which is probably silly because I'm not religious. In any case, that's the whole point, isn't it?
I also bought a mezuzah necklace (this time definitely in Tzfat) and love wearing it. It has the blessed prayer inside it and is a little cylinder on a chain. I absolutely love it - it's kind of cool to keep it close to my heart (well, relatively anyways). I kind of like participating in something that my dad did, his parents did, that their parents did way back in Europe and all the way back.
What are some drawbacks to following this today?: Honestly I'm not sure there are many drawbacks, if any. I know that some people don't want to wear their faith or their cultural background on their door, advertising it to anyone who comes over to their house. It's a cool option to have though. I'd like to put mine up one day. It's a beautiful little piece of art and I quite like having it, even though I haven't used it accurately yet.
How about you? Do you have a mezuzah? Why or why not?
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